


Indie Movie Ending

by NdigoGrl



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, OneBin, Romantic Fluff, Slice of Life, Wonbin, YG Canon, YG Family - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-06 13:46:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12212484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NdigoGrl/pseuds/NdigoGrl
Summary: Jaewon doesn’t know if he should think too hard about his almost Pavlovian response to Hanbin’s summons...





	1. When he calls, why do you go running?

Jaewon’s hand was already reaching for his jacket before he remembered he had to reply.

He paused, hand hovering over the collar.

The producer he was with was zoned out into his computer screen, playing with sound loops. They’d passed the point of productivity a while back. Jaewon was still there because he had nothing else going on.

“Hyung,” he waited for him to look up reluctantly, “we’re done right?”

“Are you getting something?” the Producer asked, “can you get me an iced coffee?”

“I’m going somewhere else,” Jaewon found his eyes dropping reflexively from the man’s curious glance. That was weird. 

The producer noticed it too and smirked. “You little -! It must be nice being a good looking bastard~”

Jaewon sighed but smiled.

He was used to being teased for his looks. He didn’t mind. He had no insecurities there.

“I’m just meeting a friend,” He was still not really looking at the hyung. Glancing down at his phone instead. 

He actually was just going to meet a friend. Just Hanbin. 

He could have said that and watched the Producer’s glance go bored again. 

But he didn’t because he might have said it weird and gotten a strange look instead. And he didn’t even know what he meant by weird.

“Why’re you talking like this, you’re in a happy relationship!” he deflected instead.

The producer, not much older than him and even more recent than him to YG, hummed and turned back to his system, “true, but the dangerous life of a good looking playboy is still enviable. Be careful out there. It’s too early for for you to have scandals”

“I told you that’s not it,” Jaewon mumbled half getting annoyed and not sure why.

His hand closed around the collar of his jacket.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The Producer grunted, zoned in again.

Jaewon stepped out of the studio conscious of the fact that the hyung didn’t actually care. 

He was the one that got self conscious because he got messaged by Hanbin.

It wasn’t even an invitation.

Just an image of bare feet, coarse beach sand and a question. 

“Jaewonnie, guess where I am?”

Jaewon didn’t need to guess. Last week, he and some trainees had made an unplanned excursion to Gyeongpo Beach in Gangneung, a little under 2 hours away from Seoul. He’d only gone along because he happened to be with them in the training facility when they came up with the idea. It wasn’t like he had schedules. He didn’t even tell his manager.

Someone else made the instagram post after they got there and minutes later Hanbin was in his DMs whining.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going?”

“I would’ve come too!”

“I’m bored!”

Jaewon had sent back tongue out emojis and rubbed it in.

He felt no guilt. He and the younger idol were close but they only ever hung out when Hanbin had time for him.

The iKON leader was infamous for being impossible to drag out of the studios and practice rooms and even when he did come out it was usually to hibernate in iKON’s dorm before going right back.

On the rare occasions he went out for fun it was usually one of his members forcing him to go. Sometimes Jaewon would roll with them and watch, partly enjoying and partly envious of the deep camaraderie shared by YG’s youngest boy group. A camaraderie that drew you in but also - in a way - unintentionally shut you out.

He liked the kids but he was partial to the time he spent alone with Hanbin.

He was the one he was closest to after all.

He wished they could hang out together more but he was used to how it was.

Harbin had whined in his DMs for the rest of their beach excursion prompting him and the trainees to send him more pictures of their good times.

On the way back the trainees had slept in the van and Jaewon continued to message Hanbin back and forth till the other suddenly stopped responding.

That happened too sometimes. Harbin would literally fall asleep in the middle of conversations.

Jaewon had switched from KKT to his music app and stared out at the passing scenery suddenly feeling oddly melancholic.

He would never have thought to ask Hanbin to come to the beach with him but now that the idea was in his head he thought he would have liked it.

He could imagine what they would have talked about and knew exactly where he would’ve treated him to lunch. That tofu place that was featured in the drama he liked. He knew the shyly dimpled smile Hanbin would’ve shown. He would’ve liked to see that.

Thinking of that smile made him realize he was envisioning this excursion to Gyeongpo with just him and Hanbin.

No trainees. No iKON members. Just them like when they were in his studio together talking or grabbing ramen from the Conbi at past midnight and eating outside.

Being at the beach together would be an even nicer memory he thought.

He didn’t know why he was collecting memories of Hanbin. He just was.

Maybe it was because their friendship was still relatively new.

They literally did nothing together and he still looked forward to it.

And now he was going to drive almost two hours out to Gangneung because of a picture of a pair of bony feet in some beach sand.

It’s no big deal he stressed to his slightly elevated heart rate.

He doesn’t even know if he’s alone. Bobby’s there too more than likely.

Jaewon stops in his tracks on the way to the elevator remembering he hasn’t even replied yet.

He looks at the picture of Hanbin’s feet.

He thinks he must be getting a little weird in the head because suddenly those bare feet look somehow vulnerable.

He remembers at that moment. Bobby is out of town on a schedule.

There’s that odd spike in his heart rate again.

Excitement? Anticipation? There was nothing wrong with looking forward to spending time with a friend you liked, right?

He restarted towards the elevators, hurrying and typing his reply quickly.

“Wait for me, I'll buy you lunch.”


	2. He Was Never Even Aiming For Him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly Jaewon was just as surprised as anyone that Hanbin and him had gotten so close. He’d only hoped as far as Bobby.
> 
> And was it weird now that he wanted to be even closer still...?

Jaewon drove himself with his windows rolled down, a mid tempo playlist that matched his mood flowing smoothly at mid volume from his speakers and a Hwang Sabu approved smoothie in his cup holder.

He didn’t drive often but when he did he tried to enjoy it.

Sipping from the smoothie his gaze moved briefly away from the light traffic ahead of him to the empty passenger seat beside him.

He didn’t know if the slight wistfulness he felt every time he glanced at it marred or enhanced his general vibe.

Though sometimes shy in new situations, truthfully, Jaewon was no introvert. He’d never really been the type to overly crave his own company.

Before getting out of Seoul he’d played with the idea of calling up someone - maybe Hanhae hyung if he wasn’t busy - to share the ride with him. In the end he’d discarded it because honestly he only wanted to hang out with Hanbin. That was his mood and he didn’t feel like denying it.

Jaewon felt the mildest flicker of disquiet at the thought that these days his mood always seemed to be Hanbin.

He did wonder a bit about that.

It wasn’t just wanting to hang with him all the time.

It was wanting to hang with him instead of his other friends.

It was stupidly driving almost 2hrs out of Seoul on a whim and a hope.

It was being able to imagine him even right now, asleep in the passenger seat beside him, burrowed under Jaewon’s jacket and the out of place protective feeling the idea brought out in him.

Jaewon guessed maybe he felt closer to him than he’d realized. Like maybe brotherly even. Funny considering Hanbin was the last person he’d expected to become close to in YG.

If anything, when the offer had come from the Big 3 Agency during his SMTM4 stint he’d hoped for an opportunity to become close with Bobby, the show’s most infamous contender and winner.

He’d already met the popular new gen power rapper once even before he first went on the rap show through the Illionaire hyungs. He knew a little bit about iKON back then but not more than most. He’d watched all their performances and kept his eye especially on the rap line.

Back then he’d admired Hanbin’s style and presence but the guy himself had struck him as overly intense and stand offish. Later, when he finally got to know them, he’d been relieved to find out that Bobby was just as friendly and approachable as he’d always seemed on and off camera. But he’d been thrown for a loop by Hanbin.

The younger musician had approached him with an almost brutally directness.

Jaewon was not unused to making a good impression but he was still surprised at the way Hanbin had seemed to like him right off the bat. He wasn’t even exactly sure why - especially after knowing him longer confirmed his suspicion that not everybody got that kind of reception from him.

Whatever it was, Hanbin had quickly developed a habit of invading his composing room (since his was right next door), his practice sessions and basically bulldozing his way into Jaewon’s affairs. He’d seemed endlessly interested in everything the new kid was doing and whether it was time, advice or food had always been ready to share it with him.

Jaewon had expected a probation period and even after that a sort of stiff relationship with the group leader. Instead, in Hanbin he’d gotten a dongsaeng with almost no defenses up against him - one who didn’t seem self conscious of or try to hide the fact that he liked him…

It’d been flattering. It still was… and cute… and before he realized it he’d “adopted” him.

Now that he thought about it, that was probably when the protective feelings had started.

But Hanbin wasn’t always like that of course. He’d also seen him in action in the practice room and recording studio with his members. He knew that the intensity was a real thing and every bit a part of Hanbin as the fluffiness he exhibited when he was with him. Or any of the other hyungs that he liked.

He’d also seen Hanbin practicing alone once. That was something not many people could claim since the young leader was weirdly private about this aspect of his life. 

He still thought about it sometimes.

The tattooed body that had been harshly hewn into a perfect machine of muscle and sinew.

The sweat that sheened it and soaked through his tank and sweats, dripping from his hair into his black eyes unnoticed.

The insane level of focus and performance that he’d watched Hanbin demand from his mind and his body over and over again till it was hard to watch.

The experience of watching someone expand their own limits deliberately, methodically, willfully… bit by painful bit.

It used to be difficult for him to reconcile that powerful moment with the cute music nerd he’d gotten to know in the studio or the rowdy punk that called him Jaewonnie instead of hyung and whined in his DMs for chicken - but he accepted it now. It was all part of the bigger picture that was Hanbin. It was what made it impossible not to be tugged in by his ebb and flow. Made him impossible to get tired of.

It was just funny when he thought about it now, that was all.

It was late afternoon when Jaewon got to the beach but Hanbin was exactly where he’d said he would be. Along with Yun and Dong.

Jaewon wasn’t disappointed.

Not really.

Hanbin had messaged him about them already so he’d managed his expectations.

From where he stood he could see the three of them had pitched a beach Umbrella and rolled out a picnic blanket under it (definitely Yun’s touch, Jaewon thought, only he would have a beach Umbrella stashed somewhere just in case). They sat huddled together in deep conversation, obliviously out of place in their streetwear fashion. At a guess he’d say their outing had been just as impulsive as his own trip with the trainees the week before.

Jaewon stopped at the boundary of the beach. Fall was coming but the weather was still really nice.

For a moment he just stood there enjoying the sinking sun’s warmth and the light, brisk breeze that wisped his too long hair across his face as he watched the three group members.

Yun waved his hands animatedly as he spoke, his platinum blonde head bright even under the umbrella. Dong threw back his own blonde head and his unmistakable high pitched laugh floated back to where Jaewon stood.

Hanbin sat, hooded, with his back to him, leaning childishly into Yun’s arm as he divided his attention between the conversation and his phone. Jaewon saw his shoulders shake slightly with laughter and caught himself smiling.

His mood was suddenly really good. He stepped onto the sand, stupidly happy that he’d come.

They didn’t notice him approaching at all.

He was able to pounce on Hanbin, grinning wolfishly as he snaked tattooed arms around the younger man’s chest and almost knocked him over.

“Miss me?” he laughed into the back of Hanbin’s hood as Yun startled away dramatically.

Hanbin righted himself but didn’t pull away. “You came?” he commented, deliberately casual. Jaewon couldn’t see his face but he could feel his smile.

“Hyung!” Dong, the patron saint of warmth and welcomes beamed up at him with delight.

“What the - why’re you here?” Yun asked in almost comical amazement.

“What? This little punk didn’t tell you I was coming?”

Yun sucked his teeth, “Hanbinnie is shameless. The husband left for a business trip so he called the boyfriend!”

“Wait, that’s not right… Isn’t Jaewonnie hyung the husband and Bobby hyung the boyfriend?” Dong countered.

“I’m definitely the husband” Jaewon agreed squeezing his arms tighter around the young group leader and enjoying the half laugh, half gasp the action produced, “Right, Hanbinnie?”

Hanbin lifted his arms in a drawn out stretch easily breaking out of his grasp.

Yun and Dong kept talking but Jaewon no longer really heard what they were saying.

He was preoccupied with how typical it was of this friend to wear an oversized, Vetement hoodie to the beach.

Only the tips of his fingers peeped out of the ends of his sleeves. It looked nice though. Cute but still cool. How did he do that, Jaewon wondered. It would probably have a whole different effect on him.

Hanbin turned to look at him then and Jaewon registered but didn’t dwell on the spike of pleasure having his full attention gave him.

Hanbin’s face was small, pale and prominent nosed under his hood.

His expression was inscrutable as he returned Jaewon’s study.

When they’d first met, every time Hanbin had looked at him like that, his dark gaze unflinchingly direct, he’d felt mildly annoyed, like he was being looked down on.

That was another thing it was funny to remember now. A lot had changed since then.

Harbin raised his weirdly elegant eyebrows, “Husband?” he asked innocently, “Since this is my first proposal, I’ll think about it after you feed me,”

“Oh? Hyung, you came to feed us?” Dong perked up.

“Did I call you the boyfriend?” Yun was suddenly massaging Jaewon’s shoulders, “Welcome in-law! You’ve had a long trip! Shall we go? Im craving shellfish right now!”

“What about chicken” Dong jumped up too and started dismantling the umbrella, “Can we have chicken?”

“Who goes to the sea for Chicken? I want Sashimi,” Hanbin piped in rising to his feet with the easy yet complicated grace Jaewon had admired in him since he first noted it. It was one of a growing list of qualities to be honest.

“Tofu,” he remembered to say at the last moment, “Gangneung is famous for Salt water Tofu, I know a -”

“SHELLFISH” Yun insisted only to be shouted over by Dong and anything that Jaewon could’ve said was drowned out by the enthusiastic bickering that ensued.

Harbin smiled at him as if to say, “you actually thought this would be anything less than chaos.”

Ebb and flow.

Jaewon felt himself pulled from inside and he smiled and shrugged.

More than half an hour later found them at a random tent that served seafood.

Yun went to the bathroom and Hanbin wandered off somewhere else leaving Jaewon and Dong alone at the table they’d settled on.

Dong was already seated and Jaewon was hesitating thinking he should find out just what Hanbin was up to.

“Hyung, he’s fine,” Dong said suddenly.

When Jaewon glanced back at him Dong sent him a look that was just a little too innocent.

“Who?” Jaewon asked anyway.

“B.I hyung” Donghyuk said still in that tone, glancing down at his menu.

“I wasn’t looking for him,” Jaewon denied with a scoff while cringing internally. What a dumb thing to deny.

Dong hummed noncommittally.

Jaewon searched his mind feverishly for a topic change. “I haven’t hung out with you guys for a bit”

“That’s true!” Dong sad cheerfully, “I never got a chance to say it directly hyung but congrats on your YG debut. Both of the songs” Dong stuck up both thumbs and grinned, full deep dimples on display, “Dope!”

Jaewon smiled back caught between being amused and mildly embarrassed. “Did you see the Music Videos?”

“Of course! Hyung you looked really handsome and cool! I fell for you!”

Jaewon reached out and playfully docked the giggling blonde on the head just as Hanbin wandered up with a plastic bag and took the seat opposite Jaewon smiling at the rough housing he’d walked in on. “What?” he asked glancing between the two.

“We’re talking about Jaewon hyung's music videos,” Donghyuk supplied his expression suddenly sly, “what did you think of them anyway?”

Hanbin’s dark gaze moved to him and all of a sudden Jaewon was anxious. He didn’t know if he worried that he would criticize his work or say he hadn’t even seen the MVs or...

But the young leader’s smile turned from curious to sweetly sincere.

“I liked them,” he said, “I watched them a lot, they were very good.”

Jaewon felt it warm and heavy in his chest.

A simple and pure feeling like - wow… I really like him.

When it became clear that he wasn’t going to say anything in response - couldn’t think of anything to say - Hanbin looked away and occupied himself with the menu that Dong was still fiddling with. Bickering recommenced over what to order while Jaewon tried to collect his temporarily scattered thoughts and convince himself that Hanbin’s ears hadn’t been tinted red at the tips when he turned away.

Yun returned from the bathroom and after a brief round of toilet humor was able to force some order into their proceedings so they could actually make their orders.

Jaewon let the talk flow around him. His mind was too full of nothing that could be said right then.

Like the “I really like him” feeling that had popped full blown out of nowhere and now sat uncomfortably lodged in his chest.

That meant he wanted to be closer with Hanbin, right? And it wasn’t that surprising when you thought about it really. They didn’t call him Charisma B.I. for nothing. You couldn’t help but admire him as an artist, as a performer and even just as a guy. Jaewon was sure lots of dudes felt that same way about wanting to get closer to him.

When Hanbin put his sweater paw on the table between them he didn’t even realize he’d reached out too and started to play, first with his sleeve then with the tips of the fingers that peeped out. It was only when he raised his zoned out gaze straight up to Dong’s smirk that his own fingers froze.

He glanced quickly at Hanbin who was listening to Yun expanding at length on the fine difference between linen and calico in a summer jacket. He seemed serenely unaffected by their contact.

Carefully, Jaewon pulled back his own hand and was incredibly grateful when the restaurant Ahjumma chose that moment to appear with their orders.

For the rest of the meal he really tried to focus on eating and listening to the conversation still flowing around him. It was hard.

His mind kept trying to fix things and his eyes only wanted to know what Hanbin was doing or thinking.

He’s been away so much, his brain rationalized. You just missed his company. It’s to be expected.

Then Yun made a particularly savage jab about Hanbin’s fashion sense surprising the young leader into one of his sudden, wide smiles and Jaewon’s mind stuttered to a stop.

When Hanbin’s hand quietly reached for the one he’d pulled away, Jaewon met it halfway.

This was fine.

He always did this.

Everyone knew how the young leader was the type to crave physical contact.

Harbin interlaced their fingers while laughingly defending himself against Yun now backed by Dong and all the rest of Jaewon’s thoughts were blown away on a breeze of pure pleasure.

He didn’t bother to glance at Dong. He just held on to those restless fingers and tried not to do anything too weird. The boys gossiped happily around him, unbothered by his lack of input.

When they left the restaurant Dong pulled Yun ahead of Hanbin and him, wanting his help in picking up souvenirs.

After they left, Hanbin showed him the contents of his plastic bag; a pretty conch shell for Hanbyul he’d found at the nearby store Dong and Yun were headed for.

Jaewon told him about the Tofu restaurant from the drama and got scolded for not pushing harder to go there.

They got to where his car was parked and Hanbin pulled himself up to sit on the trunk so he could watch the sun which was now low enough on the horizon to streak the sky gold, pink and orange. Jaewon leaned against the trunk beside him, close enough to brush against his leg and they both pushed their hands into their pockets.

“You take too much for granted,” Hanbin continued to scold, “what makes you think we’ll get another day like this? You need to take each one as it comes. Grab opportunities like it’s your last chance.”

“Ok, Grandpa,” Jaewon smirked.

“I don’t mind sounding like a Grandpa. When I’m really a Grandpa I’ll have so much practice already.”

Jaewon laughed. “You’re too random!”

Harbin shrugged. “Grandpas are underrated.”

Jaewon glanced up at him.

Hanbin was staring straight out at the horizon his full mouth turned down in a grumpy pout.

Jaewon stared.

Harbin glanced down at him when he didn’t say anything.

It was that open yet inscrutable gaze again.

“What?”

Jaewon shook his head letting his hair flop forward to cover his eyes. “Nothing”

In the distance he heard Dong and Yun’s voices approaching.

Disappointment and relief fought for dominance in him as he pushed away from the trunk and got ready to leave.

Disappointment won when Hanbin chose to ride in the back seat and fell asleep in Yun’s lap on the way home.

He couldn’t stop glancing through the rearview mirror at Yun who intermittently played with his leader’s mussed, blond streaked hair while also playing with his phone.

“Hyung,” Dong’s voice interrupted his thoughts at a traffic stop.

Jaewon glanced at him trying not to feel guilty.

“It’s a green light” Dong pointed.

Jaewon knew he flushed a little as he stepped lightly on his gas pedal and was grateful Dong didn’t comment on it.

When he dropped them off at their dorm Hanbin woke up hugged him casually and said he would see him later.

As he waved them all off Jaewon thought seriously about his words.

Take each day as it comes. Grab opportunities like it’s your last chance.

He felt like the young leader’s habitual restlessness had infected him.

Like he was missing out on something.

He stayed outside their building, leaned up against his car, basically unable to leave while deeply aware that he didn’t even know what he was waiting for.

It took 30 mins.

A hooded figure appeared in the building’s entrance.

Hanbin paused when he saw him still there and Jaewon straightened up self consciously.

After a minute’s hesitation, Hanbin strolled slowly up to him holding his gaze the whole time.

He stopped in front of him and Jaewon who could hear himself breathing wondered distantly what the hell he was doing.

“I -” _he what? What was he doing?_

“I was taking a break… from driving,”

Hanbin shook his head and smiled at last.

“Weirdo.”

The young leader rounded the vehicle and let himself into the passenger seat, slouching down just the way Jaewon had imagined he would.

Jaewon blinked then hurriedly opened the driver’s seat door and got in.

“Studio?” Harbin asked.

“Yeah.” Jaewon agreed starting his engine and pulling away from the curb.

The restlessness was still there.

But now it felt good.

It felt like… anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too long? Too short? Too vague? Let me know :)


	3. It's Just a Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaewon knows he talks too much when he talks about films but it's okay since Hanbin never seems tired of listening, right?

It was usually the other way round but today, Jaewon trailed Hanbin into his composing room and threw himself down into the couch Hanbin’s members usually occupied when they were there.

In the dimness of the small room he watched as Hanbin glanced skittishly between him and the glowing screens of the computer system set up for YG’s composers.

He wanted to work.

“You’re staying?” he asked and Jaewon tried not to feel stung.

He understood. Honestly, he did.

One of the reasons they got along so well was because they were both at least partway addicted to the work they did. Everyone close to Hanbin was like that and now Jaewon thought about it, that was probably a deliberate thing.

“Go ahead and work,” he said laying back into the cushions, “I’m resting.”

But still a tiny part of him hoped -

Hanbin spun back towards his system faster than he could finish the thought and quickly settled himself in, dragging his headphones over his ears.

In minutes he was completely absorbed into his own world, his sometimes broken, sometimes melodious humming, the only thing to occasionally break the silence.

Jaewon propped his head up with a cushion to better watch the silhouette of Hanbin’s hood against the bright light of the computer screens.

Usually he didn’t do this.

He only came in to Hanbin’s studio when there was a bunch of people there just hanging out.

At other times - when it was just Bobby or one of the other members - he tended to stay away and wait for Hanbin to come to him.

And Hanbin usually would.

When that happened Jaewon would feel secretly pleased the way you do when a cat that won’t come to anyone else seeks you out.

And Jaewon rewarded this behavior, like any good hyung would, with abundant teasing and headlocks.

He especially liked to find things that made the young leader embarrassed or shy (no easy task) and then poke at them relentlessly till Hanbin resorted to whining aegyo to obtain mercy.

That was how it was at first but somewhere along the way the playfulness had given way to talks that deepened over time to long conversations that led to plans outside the studio as they got closer and closer.

Still it always had to be Hanbin that came to him. Just like it always had to be Hanbin that made time for him.

Jaewon sighed.

Hanbin hummed and mumbled still lost in his process and Jaewon was almost 100% sure he’d forgotten he was there.

In his mind he slowly sat up, got off the couch, went over to the wide yet vulnerable back turned towards him and -

\- what?

Swung him around? Begged for his attention? Was that why he was there? Why he’d waited outside his building?

Jaewon frowned.

He found his own thoughts stranger and stranger these days.

It was like - he was missing something and instead of helping him figure it out they were trying to hide whatever it was from him.

Jaewon was puzzling over that when Hanbin swiveled around in his chair of his own accord and was suddenly looking at him.

Jaewon stilled losing what little coherence there had been to his thoughts.

In the darkened room it wasn’t like he could really see his face, just the vague shadow of his features - that domineering nose and the sullenly full lips - but he could guess the inscrutable expression the younger idol probably wore.

He felt the now worryingly familiar hyper awareness and spike of pleasure.

“Sleeping?” Hanbin asked.

Jaewon shook his head.

“Want to watch a movie with me?”

Jaewon’s eyebrows rose.

“You want to go to the movies?”

“No,” Hanbin turned back towards the computer and began to rummage around it, “I got this DVD from my old man. He said the sound track was by Joe Hisaishi”

Jaewon sat up half remembering one of their long conversations that had taken them from anime to Studio Ghibli to the composer Joe Hisaishi whom they both liked.

Harbin turned back triumphantly bearing a DVD box featuring a picture of a Napoleon Fish with a fishing spear pierced through it.

“Sonatine,” Jaewon recognized it immediately, “That’s Takeshi Kitano. A Yakuza movie.”

“You’ve seen it?” Hanbin’s voice lilted with surprise.

“What kind of film geek would I be if I hadn’t. I love his stuff.”

“Oh,” Hanbin looked down at the DVD box in his hand and Jaewon heard the disappointment in his tone, “then I guess - ”

“This one’s actually my favorite,” he said quickly. It was a lie. Hanabi was his favorite. He’d even cried at the end. But whatever. “I don’t mind watching it again.”

“Yeah?” Hanbin’s tone was cautiously bright again.

“Yeah and the soundtrack is incredible!” Jaewon warmed to the topic.

“That’s why I wanted to watch it with the speakers here. Wait - is there a dvd player?”

Jaewon got up and went over to show it to him.

“You’ve used these rooms since you were a kid, how do you not know…” he murmured trying not to smile as he brushed past the clueless junior.

“Aren’t all movies on Netflix now?” Hanbin shot back a distinct whine to his tone and Jaewon lost the battle to stay stoic as his laughter bubbled out. That was the exact whiny tone he could never get enough of.

“A Grandpa trying to sound like he’s down with the times! Do you even have a Netflix subscription?” Jaewon challenged.

“Who needs it when everybody already has one? I don’t use my laptop for watching movies anyway,”

“Be honest, don’t you just join whoever is already watching something? The only reason you’re watching this now is cos I’m here to operate it for you, right?”

Hanbin gave him a bewildered look and his tone rose even higher, “Hyung! What did I do? Why am I being attacked?”

Jaewon smirked. Whoever backed off first lost and it wouldn’t be him. “Oh! I’m hyung now?” he goaded, “You want me to stop scolding you?”

Suddenly Hanbin stepped close to him and dropped his hooded head on Jaewon’s shoulder, burying his face there.

Jaewon barely heard his muffled “yes” and that was only because everything had stopped.

Even his heart beat, it seemed, for a few seconds.

This, he thought, is cheating.

All he could feel was the warmth of Hanbin’s body down his side and his face too close to his neck.

Also there was a mild but growing sense of panic.

All he could hear was a lengthening silence that he knew instinctively he had to break. Immediately.

He failed the first time and had to clear his throat.

He aimed hard for casual on his second attempt.

“On-only because you asked nicely,” he muttered now hyper aware of sounding breathless and powerless to do anything about it.

Hanbin’s face stayed buried in his shoulder. Heat was now spreading from the area where they touched up his neck to his face and downwards too.

Jaewon didn’t know what to do.

This is cute, he thought a little frantically. Feeling soft was to be expected.

Feeling scared and forgetting how to use his own limbs was a surprise though.

He cleared his throat again more forcefully.

“Are you going to let me play the DVD or what?” his voice was low and rough to his own ears in the silence.

Hanbin raised his head almost lazily from his shoulder and turned towards the couch like nothing had happened. He fell into the cushions and pulled his knees up under his chin.

“Play.” he demanded.

Jaewon snorted at the high handed command but gave in to it, relieved to be able to think and act nearly normally again.

The alarmed section of his brain shrunk back a little but was still working over time.

What was that?

Seriously, what was that?

Oh God, what if it happens again?

After inserting the DVD he grabbed the remote and carefully settled himself at the other end of the couch.

He adjusted the subtitles, pressed play and tried to relax.

It wasn’t a large couch.

Hanbin canted sideways still holding his knees and settled his head in Jaewon’s lap and it was all the older boy could do not to jump up and spill him to the ground.

Why? Why was he like this?

He'd never been inhibited. He was the type to initiate skinship not shy away from it.

Now he was transformed into stone by a head in his lap?

Hanbin seemed strangely comfortable despite it and all Jaewon’s hopes of following the movie ended.

He spent the next hour and 34 minutes remembering how Yun had played with Hanbin’s hood matted hair in the car earlier and deeply worrying over whether he could do it too.

He got as far as letting his hand hover over the leader's head but he hesitated too long and it became creepy so he let his hand fall to the couch beside him instead.

Hanbin seemed oblivious of his struggle, completely absorbed by the movie.

When he glanced down at him Jaewon saw the huge dark eyes that sometimes seemed all pupil watching everything with a gravity that felt somehow pure.

He lay still and relaxed in Jaewon’s lap, unmoving except for when he flinched slightly at the part when the fisherman turned out to be an assassin and opened fire on the beach.

When the credits finally rolled he sat up still staring at the screen and sighed.

Jaewon rubbed a hand over his face and hoped he was rubbing away his flustered feelings too.

“I knew he wouldn’t meet up with her. She’ll wait for him forever now.”

His tone seemed oddly satisfied and Jaewon glanced at him curiously.

“Don’t you feel sorry for her?”

Hanbin stretched out his legs hard before answering thoughtfully.

“It’s not that I don’t feel sorry for her - but in the context of the story, that was a better ending for them.”

“He shot himself.”

“But it’s a story so, isn’t it symbolism?” Hanbin’s tone was almost introspective like he was talking to himself, “there was no where on earth he was going to run to that he wouldn’t be hunted down and he was an old man already.”

Jaewon started to answer but stopped when Hanbin suddenly turned to face him, “He was an old Yakuza and all he had left was that short period with his men and the girl on the beach. A bubble of time outside time. I think he consciously took the best end available to him. Now as an idea or memory the girl will have him forever. I really like movies that end like this - not with death but with something like transcendence.”

Jaewon stared at Hanbin.

The more he hung with him the more Hanbin showed this side to him. The dreamer. The ultimate romantic.

He was sure Hanbin showed it to his members too. Especially Jinhwan and Bobby.

But when it was just them like this in the studio and Hanbin’s eyes were soft like they were now, his voice low and earnest, it was enough that he got to see it too.

In that moment he badly wanted to reach out and hold the young leader’s hand.

Instead, he held his glance, laid his head against the couch and he talked.

He said everything he’d loved about this film, the things that had stuck with him, the moments, the imagery, the musical refrains, the things he also wanted to be able to do when he created and Hanbin listened to it all with the same gravity with which he’d watched the movie.

It was almost 2am when he finally started to yawn.

“Tired?” Hanbin asked still watching him closely.

“No.” Jaewon demurred then yawned again to his chagrin. He didn’t want it to be over. Their own bubble of time outside time.

When Hanbin reached out and caught a lock of the hair that hung in front of his eyes it woke him up.

Everything went still once more.

Now he knew for sure it was an automatic response to touching or being touched by him.

He watched fascinated as Hanbin’s gaze moved distractedly to the dark strands he’d caught. He exhaled shakily as Hanbin gently stroked them between his fingers and thumb.

What are you doing, Jaewon thought he should ask but couldn’t.

He couldn’t be so disingenuous.

Instead he closed his eyes because he liked it. He didn’t want it to stop.

Then he opened them again because he didn’t know how long it would last and he didn’t want to miss it.

The only thing he truly wondered was what Hanbin was thinking right then as he touched his hair so quietly.

I like him.

The feeling swelled warm in his chest and left him breathless.

Wait. Wait..

I like him…

I like Hanbin.

I really like him… in that way.

…

Oh no.

Oh sh*t… Oh no…

The warmth in his chest began to feel too heavy and suddenly it was hard for him to inhale properly.

Jaewon pulled back abruptly and his hair slipped out of Hanbin’s grasp.

Hanbin looked up and only then seemed to realize what he’d been doing.

“Oh - ” he looked guilty, “Sorry. Again, I - ”

Jaewon shook his head unable to look at him because his mind was stuck in a loop.

I like him.

“It’s ok,” he said sitting up straight.

Oh no.

“it’s just hair. I don’t mind,”

I like him.

“Are you ok? Why are you sitting all stiff like that?” Hanbin looked curious.

Oh no.

“I’m not,” he forced a laugh and hearing how it was awkward even in his own ears he panicked and got to his feet, “I think I really am tired. It’s already late.”

Hanbin stared at him from the couch not making any attempt to move. “K.”

Jaewon stared at Hanbin’s feet. “You’re not ready to go?”

“I’ll stay and work some more. I feel inspired.”

Jaewon allowed his glance to rise only for a moment to the younger man’s face.

Hanbin was already looking restlessly away towards his system.

Jaewon received his second revelation of the night.

It’s just me… I’m the only one that’s like this.

Suddenly he felt incredibly lost.

How had this happened? He’d crossed a line he didn’t even know was there and now found himself in a completely unknown place.

Alone.

Jaewon knew he’d been lucky in life in a lot of ways. Particularly, he'd been told repeatedly, with his looks.

Because of the way he looked, for better or worse, though he’d had crushes, he’d ended up having more experience with being wanted than with wanting others.

He’d never liked anyone that hadn’t liked him first.

He’d never not been liked back.

He’d - also never liked a boy.

But then he didn't think he'd ever met anyone like Hanbin.

The object of his fascination looked back at him and seemed a little surprised to see him still standing there staring at him.

“Are you - sure you’re okay?” he started to look concerned.

“Hey,Hanbinnie,” Jaewon started on a whim, not sure what he was about to say before it came out, “should I cut my hair?”

“Why?” Hanbin looked startled, “I like it like this.”

Jaewon nodded. He ran a slightly shaky hand through the long strands. “Ok.”

“Ok, weirdo” Hanbin was laughing at him now and he pretended to laugh with him before saying good night and leaving.

 

***

He was at Taehyun Noonim’s salon bright and early the next morning and - still on a whim - he got the hair cut his Mom had nagged him about for months.

But no matter the amount of hair the stylist snipped away he couldn’t seem to break out of that frantic thought loop.

Everybody said it looked good when it was done and he wondered what Hanbin would think and why he had done it at all.

He wondered if it was because he was caught in a time bubble.

Like the old Yakuza.

He honestly had no idea what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (SLIGHT EDITS)  
> As always your thoughts and feedback are craved!  
> I touched on some ideas that were hard to express in this chapter and I can only hope they came through! sigh :(


	4. Panic Rescheduled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaewon discovers that the best way to stave off his on coming freak out - is a little healthy competition..

Jaewon had planned to freak out.

Realizing that you had a bonafide crush on your boy, especially when you’d previously considered yourself straight, wasn’t, after all, an everyday kind of thing.

He remembered driving home alone from the studios that night with trembling hands and a mind blanked by shock.

It was that same shock that was still very much in charge when he’d woken up the next day and gone out to get a coffee and ended up with an unsanctioned hair cut (thank goodness that had worked out okay.)

Later, after getting scolded by his stressed out manager he’d started to come back to himself a little.

He stopped shying away from his revelation and started to examine it instead like poking at a wobbly tooth with your tongue. 

Testing it.

He sat in his pissed off manager’s YG cubicle, still clutching the empty coffee cup he’d forgotten to throw away and remembered the warmth of Hanbin’s face burrowing into his shoulder and the sweet weight of his head in his lap that had made his heart hammer so hard in his chest he’d imagined he could hear it over the movie they’d been watching.

“Jung Jaewon!”

Jaewon looked up into his manager’s unimpressed gaze.

“After your stunt this morning you can’t even pretend to listen to me?” the older staff member asked tiredly.

Jaewon tried really hard to collect himself and focus. “Hyung - ” he started and couldn’t think what else to say.

“Are you okay? Why’s your face all red?” the manager looked suspicious. “Jaewonnie, you’re really strange today… lemme sniff your cup!”

I should’ve stayed home, Jaewon realized belatedly as he surrendered his disposable coffee cup to the irritated staff. I really don’t need to be out here advertising my crisis like a souped up LED billboard. 

“It was just coffee, but I do feel a little weird,” he said getting up and grabbing his jacket,”I think I should just head back home”

The manager was all concern immediately. “Oh? Is it a fever? You know I keep telling you not to push yourself so hard! What’s the point of staying that late in the studio when it’s still going to be there in the morning.”

His nagging made Jaewon immediately think of Hanbin scolding him about grabbing opportunities.

He felt his face start to get warm again and backed hurriedly away.

“Noted.” he muttered before escaping.

He was definitely going to freak out. That was the plan. 

If it was a schedule he’d have inked it in for the next couple of weeks at least.

A few weeks of pure blind panic and avoidance.

The only thing was, as much as he may have wanted it, Jaewon wasn’t really a “freak-er out-er” type of person.

He was much more of a “go with the flow-er and adapt-er” type.

And after getting into his car, driving for a while and failing some how to make his way home - ending up instead at the parking lot close to the YG Training Centre - Jaewon realized that acting against one’s natural inclinations was actually not that easy to do.

He went into the building and started upstairs.

The whole time he made his way up to IKON’s practice room his mind ran with disclaimers - like credits rolling over the end of a movie.

It’s not like Kim Hanbin would be there. It was barely 10am, Hanbin would be a duvet burrito in his bottom bunk right about now. 

Only a tuft of silky hair and his big nose would be sticking out. 

The rest of him would be tucked away warmly in fat duvet folds. 

Jaewon couldn’t believe how clearly he could imagine it and how cute he found the image, his heart actually did a thing. 

But back to the subject as the practice room loomed closer.

He just wanted to see what trainees were around and what they were up to. He learned a lot from hanging around them. It kept him sharp and passionate.

And if any iKON members happened to be around too he’d maybe find out if they knew what time Hanbin ended up getting in last night.

Because that’s what you did as a hyung.

If they were heading back to their dorm maybe he might roll with them and play video games. To relax. And maybe check in on Hanbin to see if he really was a Burrito. 

If he was tired he might even maybe take a nap too. Right beside him.

And it would probably be cold too so maybe he would…

…

Maybe that was too many maybes.

Jaewon decided to stop thinking.

The practice door was in front of him now.

He pushed it open his face already quirking by itself into a smile and the first thing he heard was Hanbin’s voice.

A very awake, Hanbin, his tone alight with a quality that Jaewon only just then realized he hadn’t heard in a while. 

Hanbin’s voice laughed, “What! Babihyung!”

Jaewon paused at the door’s threshold awkwardly as several things rushed through his mind at once.

The most dominant one - He shouldn’t have come after all. 

He frowned.

Why not?

So what if Bobby was back? Bobby was his friend too.

He stepped into the room. 

Bobby freshly returned from the US glowed with a gold dust tan in a pastel colored t-shirt and sweat pants combo as he sat grinning happily on a bench. He was flanked by Jinhwan, neat in a cardigan and artfully ripped jeans and Hanbin, sloppy in yesterday's clothes.

You know what this means right? His mind asked insidiously. 

Jaewon tried to ignore it but it went on. 

If Bobby is here then Hanbin doesn’t really need you anymore, right? You were just holding his space, you knew that.

Jaewon frowned again distressed by the negative turn of his thoughts. He didn’t really do negative.

Jinhwan looked up and noticed him then. He sent him a warm smile.

Hanbin and Bobby followed their hyung's smile and noticed him too.

“Jaewonnie,” the young leader crowed rising to his feet. Hi's grin was happy, almost loopy, and infectious. Jaewon felt sure he wasn’t the cause of it.

The others greeted him to as Hanbin loped over to where he still stood paused in time.

Hanbin didn’t seem to notice his hesitation. His eyes snapped with excitement as he looped an arm around the older idol's neck and hauled him towards where they sat while moaning about Jaewon being his zero sleep companion. He himself showed no indication of having gotten anything less than 6 hours of sleep.

Jaewon allowed himself to be pulled in. They were all smiling at him now. Bobby too.

No wait. Bobby was smiling fondly at Hanbin not him. Jaewon didn’t know why he noticed that but he did.

Hanbin plopped him down between himself and Jinan and soon he was joining them as they pelted Bobby with questions about his LA trip.

Jaewon tried not let his attention keep wandering back to Hanbin but crush aside it was kind of impossible.

The young leader looked sleep rumpled with creased clothes and his hair sticking out in tufts but he was also incandescent like someone had connected him to a source of power.

Jaewon wondered if he’d alway been like that or he was now seeing him in Crushorama technicolor.

The urge to touch him was almost overwhelming.

Then Hanbin said something to Bobby that must have been cheeky because suddenly the older rappers big hand was in Hanbin’s electric shock hair and Jaewon wasn’t quite sure how it happened but Hanbin was in Bobby’s arms and Bobby was squeezing him and huskily scolding him while asking him to “take it back”

The tips of Hanbin’s ears were red as he shook his head in refusal while looking happier than Jaewon ever remembered seeing him.

All of a sudden Jaewon wasn’t having such a good time.

He watched with something that felt like dismay as Hanbin twisted in Bobby’s hold so that they were face to face. 

He watched as they looked unflinchingly into each other’s eyes and began a rapid fire exchange that seemed to be half inside jokes and half mental telepathy. Bobby didn’t let go of him and Hanbin wasn’t struggling anymore.

Just looking at them, Jaewon had never felt so excluded in his life.

Or so deeply annoyed and... what ever it was that made him suddenly feel like Bobby was an a** hole... 

He heard Jinhwan’s chuckle beside him and remembered for the first time that the other was there too.

He glanced at him to see if he was the only one feeling left out but all he saw in the iKON hyung's expression was the kind of indulgence you developed from long time exposure.

So he was the only one then.

Jinhwan glanced back at him just then and must’ve seen something in his expression because his eyebrows popped up.

Suddenly he was getting up while his small hand clasped Jaewon’s shoulder.

“Come with me to the vending machine”

Jaewon stood and followed him out wordlessly noting that neither of the rappers seemed to notice them go.

They walked in silence to the nearest vending machine and Jaewon tried not to fidget as Jinhwan fed it a note.

“When did Bobby get in?” he asked.

“Not too long ago.” Jinhwan answered watching a bag of chips drop into the bucket below then retrieving it. “He came straight here to see a hyung so we came to pick him up”

“Ah - so that’s what happened,” Jaewon commented because he couldn’t really think of what else to say while his mind was still stuck in the practice room with Bobby and Hanbin practically groping each other.

Jinhwan gazed at him assessingly as he pulled open his bag of crisps.

“It’s usually a good idea to give those two some time to… um.... reunite,” he said popping a chip in his mouth while still watching him.

Jaewon felt like he was being closely observed but even then he couldn’t help a glance back towards the way they’d come and the anxiety that crept into his chest.

He felt so.... discarded.

“Why?” he heard himself ask.

“They miss each other too much whenever one of them goes away” Jinhwan smiled, “it’ll take them a few days to get it out of their systems”

“Huh.” Jaewon said in his best not-disgruntled tone.

“Does it,” Jinhwan crunched on another chip, “bother you?” his tone was completely neutral like he was only mildly curious about the answer to his question.

Jaewon shrugged and lied. “No. Why would it?”

Jinhwan shrugged as if imitating him and smiled, “Right? Because if something like that bothered you, you would be in a lot of trouble,” he said.

“it doesn’t bother me” Jaewon insisted feeling himself getting fidgety despite himself. He toed the bottom of the vending machine restlessly. “But - if it did, why would I be in trouble?”

Jinhwan was thoughtful for a moment as if wondering how to put it. “I guess because there are some things that don’t change,” he said finally, “Those two - they’re one of those things. A package deal.”

The dismay and anxiety that had been growing in his chest since Hanbin tumbled into Bobby’s lap bloomed fully and Jaewon’s head fell.

That actually - hurt.

It hurt so much that for a second he didn’t even care if it showed.

When he looked up again he saw that rather than continuing to watch him, Jinhwan had fed another note into the vending machine and was retrieving the bag of chips that it released.

He picked it up and offered it to Jaewon. “Here. They’re really good.”

Jaewon suddenly had a feeling that he was being comforted in a roundabout way to save his pride.

He took the bag of chips reluctantly and was rewarded with a sweet smile from the smaller but month older idol.

There was a moment of awkward silence as Jaewon wondered what the other had guessed at.

Jinhwan sighed with the air of someone doing what he has to do even if he didn't want to.

“Our Hanbinnie,” he started then paused again, “He’s an interesting guy right? It’s easy to get attached to him.”

Jaewon didn’t know what to say to that so he just concentrated on his bag of chips and wished his hair was still long enough to cover his warm face.

“I don’t know if you've noticed but he’s an affectionate kid.”

Lol like he could’ve missed that. The stupid bag was stuck. Why wouldn’t it open? Why was Jinan still talking? He was dying!

“Like really affectionate,” Jinhwan continued, “but at the same time he’s not that good with - people, so it’s not like he’s affectionate with everyone,”

Was Jinan trying to tell him that he’d gotten the wrong idea from the way Hanbin acted around him? Jaewon wanted the Universe to either open his bag of chips or the floor beneath him. He didn’t even really care which one at this point.

Jinhwan dragged a hand across his face, “I’m messing this up. Look, the thing is if you're important to him, you’ll always be important to him. He has a way of making a place for you. You just - you can’t expect to be the only one is all.”

Another even more awkward silence followed.

“For a while now” Jaewon broke it shakily, “you’ve been saying things I don’t really understand.”

Jinhwan nodded his head as if that was the response he expected.

“Don’t mind me then, just think of it as a mathyung’s ramblings,” he smiled again, “should we go back?”

Jaewon didn’t think he could take much more of Hanbin and Bobby getting whatever “it” was out of their systems.

“I should head out. I had some things - errands…”

“I’ll tell them you had to leave,” Jinhwan said already waving and heading off.

Jaewon didn’t even realize he was still pulling on his bag till it burst open in his hands and the chips flew everywhere.

****

He did try to clean up but the cleaning Ahjumma didn’t take kindly to catching him with her supplies and he’d given up her floor buffer after a brief struggle.

It slowed him down.

That’s probably why the minute he pushed the door open to let himself out of the building he heard footsteps running to catch up with him.

“Yah, Jaewonnie, who said you could leave?”

Jaewon turned, completely unable to hide his surprise at seeing Hanbin drawing level with him while pushing his arms into the sleeves of a loud, urban and probably obnoxiously expensive jacket.

“You..” Jaewon heard himself stutter as feelings short-circuited and fell into odd combinations inside him. 

Depressed/Surprised. Upset/Excited. Confused/Super Confused. 

“Why are you here?”

Hanbin glanced at him with genuine surprise, “Why? I shouldn’t be here?”

“You’re with Bobby.”

“Ah. He has to see someone. It’s fine, Jinani hyung will wait for him. Where’re you going?” his words tumbled out in a sweet, clean rush like the cold breeze that flurried Autumn’s first leaf fall around their feet.

Jaewon needed a moment.

He stared at Hanbin half expecting Bobby to suddenly push open the door behind them and throw a heavy, proprietary arm around the younger idol’s shoulder. He could practically feel him there like he was a part of Hanbin he’d been too careless to acknowledge before now.

“Jae-wonnie-hyung,” Hanbin dragged out his name slowly, stepping into his space so they were almost standing nose to nose.

It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten to stare into the younger man’s eyes at such close quarters but that didn’t matter to his stunned senses. Not while Hanbin stood so close. Not while he stared into eyes so dark it was like they were all pupil and a mouth so full and soft it shouldn’t have suited a boy. 

All the dismay he’d felt, the sharp lonely bloom in his chest - all of it faded to almost nothing when Hanbin looked at him like that. 

Really this was very bad.

You weren't supposed to fall for anyone as an idol.

Especially not someone from your own company.

He didn't even want to think of the further complication of the same sex part.

He didn't want to think of any of it to be honest.

They didn't feel like things that mattered more than somehow getting closer to the tall, whip-cord slim boy with the messy hair and intense black eyes standing in front of him right now.

Jaewon blinked slowly, waiting for Hanbin to command him, knowing that there wasn’t much he would refuse him if the leader asked him right then.

He stared helplessly as dimples suddenly deepened in the younger man’s cheeks.

“Feed me.” Hanbin said simply and strode ahead leaving Jaewon in his wake and thrall.

**Author's Note:**

> I did this because I think we can all agree that there should be more OneBin in the Universe
> 
> A major thank you to @calkonic on twitter who came to my rescue with the motherload of Jaewon links when I needed to research him.  
> I hope I did not shame your effort or offend his fans!
> 
> Also love and thank you to my Cupcake Mama's GC and the Blog GC (y'all know who you are ;-)) who rambled with me for hours while I was trying to get a grasp on Jaewon's character and his relationship with Hanbin.
> 
> This is the first part of a short OneBin series.  
> Let me know what you think and if you like it pls share!


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